Beware of Progress

skullIf you’re a hardware developer, here’s a verilog coding exercise you should never, ever attempt.

Ever.

No one in their right mind would try it; not even dare someone else to try it. The stakes are way too high and you can’t risk your precious time futzing away on some impossible coding exercise. That’s right: impossible. This coding exercise is like doing a 49×49 sudoku on a double black diamond on a 50ft wave at high noon in the middle of a desert that has lots of spiders and rabid skunks… blindfolded.

But it’s not just impossible, it’s dangerous, incredibly dangerous, especially for people that code in Verilog. If you use Verilog, I’d advice you turn and run. Keep running and don’t look back. Don’t go anywhere near this coding exercise. Anyone who does is taking their life into their own hands. This coding exercise is a vortex; one that transports the unsuspecting to a fiery underground of drab grey cubicles, worn carpet, flickering lights and coffeemate. Through the shadows roam dark wizards leading armies of the undead who trade souls for party-size subway sandwiches (with extra onions). They brew mysterious potions and cast spells compelling you to create huge and incredibly convoluted test fixtures that run for days doing everything except the frustratingly simple things you need them to do. Even LSF fortresses built on pillowy soft clouds offer no shelter or reprieve… because they control the LSF fortresses in the clouds… and every new server makes them stronger.

They’re unrelenting. They don’t take no for an answer. They do not stop until they convert everyone they cross. You get sucked in. You become one of them. You don’t come out. The end (though I’ve heard there’s decent internet access so it’s not all bad).

Don’t tempt fate. Don’t do this coding exercise.

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Unless of course you’re reading this from a drab grey cubicle in an underground world filled with wizard-lead armies of the undead and convoluted test frameworks running on giant server farms. If that’s you, I’d go for it. Here’s the link. Don’t worry, the work of the undead will still be there for you when you’re done. It’ll take 5 minutes, tops.

And it might just be your only way out.

Bwa ha ha ha!

Happy 2014 ;)!

-neil

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